Monday, April 15, 2013
Significant Other And Perfection? Really?
What is essential to share regarding your completion of the "Perfect Mate" handout? How does your experience relate to what you know about Romeo and Juliet's situation? What does this make you think? Reflect? Contemplate? Don't forget to include references to our class discussion. This blog response should be completed in class on 4-15-13.
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I was very surprised that my mom and I were very similar in our responses. My mom did put a few things that didn't really occur to me but I did realize I would like in a guy. In Romeo and Juliet, especially on Juliet's side, they didn't get to talk like we do about relationships now in this day and age. My mom and I have a great relationship and this conversation is very normal for her and I. There wasn't any awkward-ness within the process of completing the form. It seems from who shared that we had pretty similar traits or expectations for future relationships.
The "Perfect Mate" handout showed me that my mom and I both think the same traits are essential for in a perfect mate. We both thought traits like honesty, kindness, and loyalty are very important in a mate. Compared to Romeo and Juliet, their parents did not have the same ideas and trait for mates. Back then, the parents arrange marriages while in our society, people cant choose their own wife/husband. I have dated a person my parents did not approve of, but unlike Juliet and Romeo's parents, they did not ban me from seeing him but just told me how they felt about him. They let me decide what to do, but told me what they thought. In my experience, they ended up being right. I think parents shouldn't force their kids to do anything because its their own life. If their parents had let them do what they want and stay together, they wouldn't have lost their children. Young people cant make bad decisions, and the parents should tell them how they feel, but they should also allow their children to live their own life and decide on their own.
My experience relates to Romeo and Juliet's situation in some ways, especially with the fact that Juliet's parents don't approve of Romeo, and my mom somewhat doesn't agree with my interests. What I mean by that is I am not allowed to date until 16, so in some ways it is the same, but also it is very different. She is young and her parents are trying for her to get married, while my mom won't let me date. But we are also the same, Juliet and I both don't really agree with our parents/parent. This makes me feel for Juliet, for I kind of understand what she is going through with disagreeing with her parents. Now I understanding that she is upset with her parents because they are trying to make her marry someone she doesn't want to marry, while in my case it is that I am not allowed to date. In some ways we are alike, and in others we are different.
When completing the "Perfect Mate" handout, I noticed that there are a lot of qualities that my future husband must have. I also noticed that after my mom had filled it out, we both have the same expectations of my future husband. This is really nice so that when I get married, I will already know what my family looks for in a guy. Knowing that Juliet was in love with someone who was forbidden from her, kind of allows me to know that it is okay to fall in love with someone who is not liked by my family. This makes me think that in the end, I am allowed to fall in love with someone and if my family really supported me and loved me, they would want me to be happy as well. Another thing that I contemplate about it, is if my future husband and his family don't get along with my family, then there is going to be a big problem. Sometimes humans aren't love's best care takers. Which is hard because you can't comprise your future in order to make your family happy. So in the end, love is not a life nor death situation for me. It may have been life or death for Romeo and Juliet, but I know that the person I marry, will get along with everyone and just be amazing.
My parents and I want fairly the same thing in a boy when I grow up; to be honest and smart and compassionate. This is different than Romeo and Juliet because in that story their parents decide for them what they want for their children and they have very different views from each other. Romeo and Juliet are in love because of their personalities, not because of their social status. However, in that time their families were enemies and would never dream of having them marry each other, which is Romeo and Juliet had to keep their relationship a secret. In my family, my parents just want me to be happy and we have similar viewpoints. I know they would support me for anything and they would be happy if I was happy.
Romeo and Juliet's situation is sort of similar to my personal experience. Romeo and Juliet have an age difference that is unacceptable to her parents. This is similar to me because my parents do not want me to be in a relationship with a guy who is too old in their eyes. Romeo and Juliet's parents have had past fights that make Romeo and Juliet unable to be together. If my parents had a problem with my boyfriends parents, they would not want me to date him. I think that the parents advice should be considered and thought about, but the decision should ultimately be up to the person making the choice to be with a certain person. It wasn't awkward doing to "Perfect Mate" survey with my parents because we have talked about this before recently and it was just kind of a summary of our past discussions. I personally believe that parents advice and wisdom is extremely important, but they should not be able to force you to date someone or not to date someone.
I think the most important thing to share about this is that he mostly has to have the same religion as me and enjoys being around me. For me, I can't really relate with Juliet or Romeo because my parents would just want me to be happy, but they would tell me if they don't approve of the guy. It makes me reflect on how my parents really do just want the best for me and they do just want me to be happy.
After completing the "perfect mate" handout my experiences can relate to Romeo and Juliet because it both has to do with our loves and what we look for in them. I shared it with my mom and we basically had the same expectations. This did made me actually put alot of thought into what i look for in a guy.
I have never experienced this before because my parents want me to be happy and they support my choice. It makes me think that any parent who decides for their child who they can date, really doesn't understand the importance of love and life. It makes me think that parents try too hard to make their child happy, when in reality its really hurting them. In our class disscussion I saw that most parents agreed with their children and they wanted them to be happy.
My experience does not relate to anything about Romeo and Juliet. My parents have never disagreed on the people I chose. It makes me feel lucky that my parents just want me to be happy with who I want and not someone that they want me to be happy with. Also that they have the same idea of traits of a guy for me as I do makes me hopefull that they will in the future agree with my decisions.
Having do to my experience about relationships situations can be can hard due to how parents want a guy to treat you and they have many expectations for who you should be with because they want you to have the best but when you feel like you have found the right guy and you really like him but your parents don't approve of him it makes things hard for the people in the situation because more then anything they want to be together but it almost feels like they need to be sneaking around to see each other so they don't get in trouble by the parents not wanting them together. It makes me feel bad for people who have parents who don't let their child be with someone who they really like just because don't fully approve of them because I believe that if this person makes your child happy and is respect to them then they should be allowed to make the choice on who they can date or marry. Parents should not get to choose who their child should be with and shouldn't be it is fully up to the child.
Completing the Perfect Mate handout shows that kids have different views then their parents on relationships. Some people might have been more focused on their physical appearance than their personality, where as a parent would look more at personality then their appearance, but to them if they are attractive it is a bonus for their child. In Juliet's situation they try and marry her off before she is even 14 years old, she has very different views on when she will get married and whom she will get married to. Obviously kids will have different views then their parents but on somethings they can agree, but on other things kids will rebel more.
The "Perfect Mate" handout related to Romeo and Juliet's situation because there were some things that our parents wanted that we may not want or have thought about. This makes me think about what it must have been like to have someone chosen for you even if you didn't like them.
I realized that what my mom would want for me is similar to what I want. Although she did not go into specifics, the words she wrote were also the same as mine. I thought it would be awkward to ask my mom to do this but I realized that after past events, we have gotten a lot closer and our bond has gotten stronger and I realized that I can talk to her about stuff like this. This somewhat relates to Romeo and Juliet's situation because Juliet doesn't like the thought of her parents choosing a man for her to marry and I wouldn't like my parents choosing a man for me either.
My parents are usually always happy with who I'm dating, so long as they are nice and make me happy. So, I haven't ever experienced anything like Romeo and Juliet. However, I really don't think Juliet should have acted dead, then Romeo wouldn't of killed himself and neither would Juliet have. That was an extreme miscommunication. Also, I don't think I would ever fake my death, especially if I wasn't certain my boyfriend knew it was fake.
Unlike Romeo and Juliet's situation, my mother and I have the sames views on what she wants and what I want, in a person I have a relationship with. We both want someone who is funny but responsible, loving, honest, has spontaneity. There are thing we have on our lists that are different, but that does not matter. Parents, can express their views on what they want their child to have in their relationship, but they have to allow their child to follow their own path on love. Romeo and Juliet's parents don't do this, they do not allow their children pick who they want a relationship with. Their relationship with their parents is different than the one I have with mine.
On my “Perfect Mate” handout I stated how I would like a guy who is Catholic, funny, puts others before himself, and makes my life interesting. My mom said the exactly the same thing but added that he should have good morals. I completely agree with my mom about everything she said and unlike Juliet, I think I have better parents. If I was in the same situation my parents would definitely not give me away to some guy who is twice my age, but they would also keep me from marrying Romeo. Because my parents would see that as a bad decision sense I have barely known him for a week and I am only 14 years old. But I would completely agree with them because it would be horrible to marry an old guy and it would be plain stupid to run off with a guy I just meet. If I was Juliet, I would wait a while longer and choose to marry when I became at least 23 years old, that way I know exactly what I am doing.
My mom and I happend to share many common characteristics that we would look for in a “Perfect Mate.” We both would choose someone who is healthy and athletic, thoughtful/considerate, well mannered, smart/ well educated, funny and goal oriented. I think these characteristics are similar to Romeo and Juliet because of the fact that Juliet finds a mate, and her desires differ from those of her father. Taking this survey makes me feel lucky that I can choose my own mate, but if my mom had to choose a husband for me, she would do a great job. I was interested to find that many of my classmates had similar desires in a “Perfect Mate” and that their parents tended to agree with them.
What is essential to share regarding the "Perfect Mate" handout is that my mother and I are mostly on the same page of what standards and expectations we have for my "dream guy". We both believe that certain traits such as being my best friend, sharing similar interests, sense of humor, respectful, tall and athletic, and to have dreams and goals in life are very important. Unlike Romeo & Juliet's situation, my mom agreed with everything that I said. Romeo & Juliet were forbidden to see each other because of their parents' different opinion. They did not believe their daughter/son was knowledgeable of what was best for them; even though they were, but their expectations were just different.
The "Perfect Mate" handout for me showed the importance of finding ideal character traits for what one looks for in the "Perfect Mate". After looking at that handout and finding out what I actually thought was important in a guy, it became a realization to me that character traits play an ideal role in the discovery of the perfect mate. I also realized how similar my mom's and I's opinions are. We both find things to be similar in things we look for in a partner. This was interesting to me because I have always longed for a relationship that my parents have and it helped that my mom and I shared a lot of those common characteristics of traits in a partner. This relates to experience because I never really believed in love, I never thought I would find love in highschool nor find it at such a young age, but coming from experience, once you're in love, its hard to get out. Its like a trap, it has you locked up so much that it seems as though nothing else in the world even matters. Everything else becomes so irrelevant and once you find someone that fits to all the characteristics and traits that you look for in a partner everything seems to fall into place. Not to the same degree but when Romeo and Juliet fell in love they were so in love that the opinions of others, the actions, the thoughts, the comments, nothing. Nothing that anyone else did to interfere with their love worked. Nothing could break them, they were too in love. Way too in love. And I think by finding someone that fits to your characteristics and traits, it will be a lot easier to fall in love.
After taking the survey and reading both of them I found out that both my mom and I have very similar traits we think a perfect mate should have. We both agreed on traits such as someone that is honest, straight forward, and trust worthy. Compared to Romeo and Juliet where they didn't really get a choice of marriage or get to meet and come to know the person they were going to marry because their parents arrange their marriages. Romeo and Juliets parents did not approve of their love, they wanted to choose who they would marry. Unlike me, where my parents will let me decide who I want to marry. Society has changed so much since this time period. That's why each individual depending on their religion and culture. In my opinion parents should not be able to tell their child who they should marry, however I do feel that the parents should give their opinion on their childs perfect mate.
In a "Perfect Mate" relationship, I found out that unlike Romeo and Juliet, my parents don't care who I'm in a relationship in as long as they're good. My parents and I discussed and we found out that a "perfect mate" would be trustworthy, nice, and gentle. Compared to Romeo and Juliette's relationship, they're parents don't want them to get married. There families are very reserved. Unlike me, my parents could care less on who I marry, let alone date. The enviroment in Romeo's and Juliette's days differs in mine by a lot. They had to have arranged marriages while marrying here is so free with not many rules. Overlooking all of this, I think that love depends on each culture and the era you were born in to figure the "perfect mate" for you. Parents shouldn't decide on who their child marries but instead tell the pros. and cons. so that both spouses can work on their negatives and positives.
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